Saturday, August 25, 2012

The Asylum

If you don't believe in miracles perhaps you've forgotten you are one.
Apparently the miracle didn't extend
to the baby's pinky toe.
The other day, I inexplicably was wandering through Facebook's "Jesus Daily". Reading the comments is surreal. They have this whole cache of motivational images that were astonishing.

The example on the right is what I'm talking about.

Apparently the fact I was born broke laws of physics, or otherwise could not have happened. Either that, or a biological function that has occurred hundreds of billions of times counts as a miracle. Similarly, me taking a shit is also a miracle, apparently.

Whatever happened to miracles, anyway? They used to be cool. Now, people find their car keys and it's a miracle.

This is what qualifies as "thinking" and "reasoning" to these people.

Will you let me save you? Share if yes! (picture of man in water)

Save me from what? Water? I'm sitting in my office. The only water around is in my coffee mug and in my body. Are you going to dehydrate me? How is that "saving" me? ...Nor will you take my coffee.

Maybe you're going to save me from death? So far, they have a 0% success rate, since all Christians die.

Oh! You're talking about some whimsical notion about a soul, and an extended notion that it's somehow in peril?

This is what gets me about Christianity. They've invented a fictional problem, and are now trying to sell me a fictional cure for that fictional problem. It's quite a successful business model, actually.

Dear God, Today I woke up. I am healthy. I am alive. Thank you.
Dear God, things happened that happen normally and that have no contingency upon your existence. Thanks!
Dear God, it rained outside because it was cold enough for water to condense. Thank you!

Like if Jesus is your light! (fireworks exploding at night that kind looks like a person)

I uh... I see a lady. With boobs.

I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength - Phillippians 4:13

Care to put that to the test? Can you fly to Mars with your mind (and I don't mean close your eyes and pretend that you are)? Ready? Go!

I can do everything I do through my own power and will. Me powerful! 

How is this distinguishable from the placebo effect, if that's all they mean, is getting an attitude adjustment?

Jesus is my savior not my religion.

Sure, that's technically true, however, you are buying into Christianity, which is a religion.

It's like saying that you aren't a Republican, even though you subscribe to their newsletter, you agree with and follow their official party platform, slap Republican bumper stickers on your car, etc.

Religion is the organized worship of a supernatural being/spirits/etc. You're doing that. You're buying into the Christian doctrine. If you weren't, all this stuff about a "savior" would be irrelevant. You're still a pawn of the authors of these books thousands of years ago (with ongoing revisions).

Also, does that mean you only follow Jesus's teachings, and don't care about the old testament and Paul's misogynistic rantings?

Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so - Matthew 18:4

I know Zeus exists because some book told me so. I also know Allah exists because some book told me so. I know Krishna exists because some book told me so. Begin to see the problem with your standards of evidence?

How do you know that particular assertion of the Bible is true?

Keep in mind, also, that knowledge is demonstrably true belief. If the claim cannot be demonstrated to be true, it's not knowledge. It seems like many theists think that knowledge is just believing something with a lot of conviction.

SHARE if Jesus is the truth

So I guess I won't be sharing it? That is, until it's sufficiently demonstrated through standard scientific means.

I was hungry and you fed me - Jesus (picture of starving children)

What? The photo depicts fairly clearly that this isn't true. Seriously? Not to get into the problem of evil too much, but you're taking about feeding people with a photo of starving children in the background, because apparently God is too indifferent or too distracted to take a moment to prevent millions of children starving per year, despite that their mothers are praying with every fiber of their souls for just a little food so their children don't die horribly in their arms?


We could go into the problem of evil, but a much easier topic would be the Problem of Unnecessary Suffering. Unless, of course, it's God's plan that these children had to die. Painfully.

I hear his voice. Do you?

They've got pills for that.

If Jesus is our great physician write "Amen" and share!

Are we talking about Jesus's miracles, or are you talking about credit stealing? Doctors spend many many years training and getting educations so they can be effective doctors. They learn knowledge that was revealed through science and evidence-based investigation. They didn't pray to the Operator to download all knowledge about the medical disciplines, and then go.

It must be tough to be a doctor. You've spent a huge chunk of your life working towards being a good knowledgeable doctor, and when you manage to heal someone, that person shoves you aside and thanks some invisible dude.

If you're talking about the healing miracles, do you have any evidence any of that actually happened?

Jesus is KING! Share if you want everyone to be saved!

Look, I know Christians are very gung-ho about being ruled by a genocidal totalitarian dictator, but count me out. I don't need to be saved from a fictional problem that this fictional character stupidly created that would automatically condemn anyone who wasn't perfect, even though he supposedly has the omniscience to know that it all would happen, ahead of time.

He's not just a genocidal totalitarian dictator - he's a moronic clumsy Wile E-Coyote genocidal totalitarian dictator who puts Satan to shame in regards to sheer quantity of death and destruction and immorality.

Share if Jesus is #1

#1 what? In terms of the conservative authoritarian hierarchy, he's actually #2. #1 is God, according to your doctrine. 

Women are fairly low on that hierarchical tree. I think women who are voluntarily Christian are masochists.

Jesus, I have a big problem! Don't worry Child! I'm your Helper. You have nothing to fear. I'll solve it.

I discussed before how belief in a god harms you - this is an example where they're embracing that problem. Instead of actually dealing with the problem yourself, you pass the buck to an invisible bearded dude in the sky. This degrades your capacity to improve your life.

Luckily, most people do try to solve the problems anyway, depending on how severe the problems are.

You are not useless.

Why is "use" in red? Frankly, I'm not getting this one. Just look at the most immediate prior image - apparently we're useless enough to need to delegate our problem solving to invisible people.

Christianity is dehumanizing - that we're weak and and helpless and wicked, and we need a superman to come save us from ourselves. 

The Bible is the only book whose author is always present when one reads it.

So, you're telling me that when I open up my Bible, a dozen or so zombie people are going to smash through my wall, screaming "Oh  yeah!"?

Let me try it.

Nope. Maybe this Bible is defective - let me try one of the others.


Wait - "whose author" is singular. Do you  mean God? Well, I wasn't getting any indication of that either. Do you have any evidence of this?

I take it you are a "The Bible is written purely by God and beamed down from the sky into our hands" type person? Most people believe it's inspired, but written by mankind, and thus, prone to errors. Hell, you can't even accept the Gospels because those were (supposedly) written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and John - not God - and that's canon.

Which parts of the Bible are we talking about? The discarded ones, or the ones that were decided by consensus by the Council of Nicaea in 325 CE? The Book of Revelations barely made it in, because people thought it was too nutzoid.

Never say never when it comes to what God can do

God can never provide sufficient scientific evidence for his existence. 

Okay. Let me make this easy on you. Can you demonstrate that God can do anything at all? Can you demonstrate that God even exists?

It's like we're talking about what Spider Man can do. It's fictional, so we can just go ahead and make up a bunch of things.

Children are a gift from the Lord - Pslams 127:3

If they are a gift, does that mean I can re-gift them to someone else?

I thought children were the output of reproduction. Are child mosquitos gifts too?

I'll end on this one. I find this so dehumanizing. Christianity tears down your self esteem and self worth. It says you are wicked and don't deserve anything. 

They tear you down - but wait, they have a solution to that! God decided that the best course of action was to create a copy of himself to be tortured and slaughtered, instead of simply accepting non-perfect people into heaven, and now everything is fine!

All you have to do is override your logic/reason, stop thinking, and accept an evidenceless undemonstrated unproven baseless assertion even though it contradicts almost everything else you know about reality.

In order to get your savings, you just gotta be gullible. 

God is fine with non-gullible people being flame-broiled forever... because they aren't gullible. 

Gullible good. Non-gullible bad.

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